Reminiscing...

So before I start, make sure to take a look at yesterday's post. I got super computer savvy and added some pictures of poor Tysan. Although, I must say, those pictures were taken BEFORE she went for the dryer ride, so I can't be held completely accountable for her insanity.  

I wonder if the future pet owners that will be our future clients have any idea of what their trusted veterinarian did in class first year. And in our defense, I say, if they had any, ANY idea of what we have to go through on a daily basis, maybe they would pardon our behavior. Today was the first day that I broke down and surfed the internet during class. And I was proud of that! And again, in my defense, I was productive. I checked my e-mail, read about the years worst dressed stars, surfed facebook, and shopped for a book online. Hey, that's better than my online beer pong game playing that went on last semester. Trust me, it's addictive.  By the way, the above picture is taken with IBooth on a Mac computer.  It's fantastic and extremely entertaining.  It passed the time in class last semester.  I always wonder what the professor was thinking as we gooned at the computer.      

Check this out:

Radicals (unpaired electrons) are formed all the time in the host’s body. (You can stop reading now, I'm just trying to be dramatic.)  They are found inside the cells, free in the tissues, and in the circulation. Free radicals of antimicrobial killing are used with O and NO to kill bacteria. Respiratory burst is associated with the release of an electron in the mitochondria or in the cytosol. This is the main source of free radicals that the cell uses to kill bacteria. This is highly regulated and controlled with enzymes that scavenge free electrons when not needed. The respiratory burst occurs when anything tweaks the membrane of a phagocytic cell (initiates oxidasis in the cell to produce free electrons). To from a free radical with O, all that is needed is O2 and an electron (this occurs spontaneously).

I mean, what does that even MEAN?  I took crazy insane notes for, oh, about 10 minutes and then re-read them and thought I was reading Swahili.  Come on.  With this crap, no wonder I can't pay attention.  Hey, at least it isn't beer pong ;)

So I mentioned yesterday about being milk-attacked by a dead horse.  Since there is nothing else worth blogging about today, I think I'll clarify.  We are in large animal gross anatomy this semester, and we have to dissect a horse, cow, and goat.  We get in there the first day and the instructor stares at us blankly (after lecturing us about...wow, I can't even remember it was so important) and expects us to hang these dead animals that are strewn all over the lab.  Hang them on these metal racks lined up in the room.  Really?  Sure, Dr. D, we're all over it.  To our surprise (since these instructors are always super prepared), there is only one lift in the entire lab, which is located in an obscure corner on the opposite side of the room from the majority of the horses.  We were informed that we had to hang the animal that we wanted, so our group of 6 (wanting a horse, obviously) went to work trying to pick our animal.  By the time 5 of us decided to start walking towards a rack, my good friend Jamie had thrown down 15 people, stolen a rack from the class secretary, and pushed her way to the best horse in the room (right under the lift).  Rock on, Jamie.  

Twenty minutes and 4 heads scratched later, the professors decided to lift the animal up by its feet, put straps around the lower abdomen and chest, and flip it right-side-up at the last minute.  Right, great idea guys.  After nearly breaking one of the legs, we had the horse on it's side in the air, being suspended by these straps.  "Alright, guys, on the count of three, we're going to turn the horse upright!"  This is going to be done by having the lift pull the straps around the horse's body, shortening them, thus flipping the feet downwards, the head upwards, and leaving the horse in a perfectly upright position.  Ok.  "One, two, three!"  Well, the geniuses that we are have our heads down by the straps, just waiting for this thing to fall out and crash on the floor, crushing about 2 profs and 3 students (myself included) who are supporting the legs.  Now, I forgot to mention that this horse had clearly just foaled (had a baby), and her mammary glands were still very full.  On three, the straps tightened around the chest and (you guessed it!) the mammary glands, thus shooting a 3 foot stream of milk at all the faces of the people on the ground.  Fantastic.  

After a short drink, we all recomposed ourselves and cheered in victory.  Only to realize that the horse was still being help up by the straps and the lift, which were going to be needed to hang the other 15 animals in the room.  Dr. H starts to get out a huge screw drill about a foot and a half long and drill a hole through the horse's chest.  Messy, yes, but effective.  A steel bar followed the hole made by the drill and the front of the horse was suspended.  Next up, back end.  It was figured out quickly that a steel bar would be too short to go through the hind quarters, so Dr. D busts out these huge steel hooks and a huge mallet.  Of course.  Why didn't I think of that?  He starts beating these hooks into the horse's hip muscles.  Once that's done, we start to hang it from the hooks and the bar in the front.  Drum roll, please.  We removed the strap...and voiala!  The hook on the right flank ripped out of the hip muscle and the horse started to drop.  Perfect.  You would think that 3 professors, 2 lab techs, and 97 students would have figured this out long before 2 1/2 hours passed, but you'd be so wrong.  Take 2 and the hook stayed in, the straps came off, and the animal stayed put, looking beautifully embalmed hanging in the air.  Exhausted, our group left satisfied, knowing that our horse would be ready for cutting the next lab.

Update: We came into lab the next day, only to realize that the professor decided to do a lottery on the animals, and we got stuck with a nasty looking cow we call Bubbles.  Stay tuned.  

My grandparents got here this evening, so I'm signing off to hang out with them and try and keep my cats out of trouble.  Wish me good luck in getting a good night's sleep tonight.  Juno (my dog) woke up howling at 3:30 in the morning from her cage.  She went to town for about 20 minutes and then finally got bored with her behavior.  I spent the rest of the night dreaming about someone breaking into my windows with those silent glass cutters you see on TV.  Needless to say, I didn't get too much sleep last night.  However, I did learn two things.  One, Juno is a fantastic alert dog.  And two, don't watch Prison Break again before bed.